We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
