How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
