I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize