She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
