I hate your face
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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