I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Randomize
