Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
