Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Randomize
