I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize