is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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