I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
