Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize