mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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