the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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