mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your tits are I can't wait for
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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