No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
