I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
