I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sext me about skeletons
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
