Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
