you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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