sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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