A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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