Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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