so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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