I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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