i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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