I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize