I'm so fucking centered right now
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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