when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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