I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
