I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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