mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
