My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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