i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
