fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
