Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
