so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My penis needs a shock collar
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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