At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
