Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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