I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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