He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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