I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
