I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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