Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
