Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
