Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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