You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
