i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize