dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize