Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
