My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
