i just wanna soil my oats bro
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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