absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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