my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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