If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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