the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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