Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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