never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
