i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize