I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
