I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
