I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
