He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
