I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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