She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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