Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
