You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize